After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
