No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
