there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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