I'm sorry my penis didn't work
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
