I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
