You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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