Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
