HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wish i was in the wii world.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I have aggressive nipples.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
