Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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