Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize