I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
