Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
