She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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