WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
why does every cop we meet know your name?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
