I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
