someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
