There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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