Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
