i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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