highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Girls should come with a carfax report
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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