Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
