I hate your face
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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