Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
