I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize