I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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