another moral hangover. fuck.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
