a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
