I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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