On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize