all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She's the barista slut.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
