using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize