Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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