My Higher Power is John Stamos
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
