It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
