I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize