I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Someone shattered a urinal.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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