My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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