areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
