yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
