I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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