as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
porn star boner night. come get it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
