did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
