my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
