have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
