I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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