I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I don't think brook has ever known best
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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