I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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