Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
