ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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