i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
