I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
