I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
