Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
