yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
