I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I deserve this hangover.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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