Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
