I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
