I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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