I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My pussy is not your playground.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize