Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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