I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
