so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
