Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
