Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
