Your face is a jimmy john
okay pat passed out under dana's car
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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